This is a short, one page story I've done for a UK anthology. The deadline is tomorrow so it's too late for me to completely re do it, but I might be able to make minor changes or not submit it at all. The problem is the story. Steph read it and said it was lacking conclusion, I wanted it to be like that, but not if the whole world is gonna hate it.



What do you think? Your opinion and some quick criticism would be great.

I don't have a problem with the ending.

I am not sure I understand the middle. Does "rozbity letter" mean something?

I like the premise, but I feel like I am missing something...

The theme of the anthology is "broken". Rozbity is Polish for broken. Too obscure?

This story telling thing is difficult.

Ah, OK. I guess it's not too obscure? It depends on how ambiguous you want to be?

I googled rozbity and it seemed like it came up as a name of a place (well as part of a name of a place - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rozbity_Kamie%C5%84 ) and that made me think "rozbity letter" must be an actual thing. (The Wikipedia article doesn't mention rozbity means broken).

So... I don't know.

I'm good with the inconclusive ending as well. It adds to the story, IMO - if you had to explain what that letter was and how it broke Uncle Patryk you'd have to have a lot more exposition and backstory and whatnot.

The full title might be a little misleading, though, because it puts focus on the letter, which is never explained. It might be better if you just shortened it to "Rozbity", since that's fully in line with the theme of the anthology, and it's matched by Patryk's anguished sob in Panel 10.

My 0.02 zloty.

I agree with that, though, Jeff, did you know what the word meant?

I kinda guessed because it's a cognate with the Russian word for 'broken', but it helped to have Joe confirm it.

S'a good comic. I love it.

OK, so it's not awful and I should change the title to plain "rozbity"? It's probably more ambiguous than I originally intended, but I can live with that.

I'll probably add some more to the story and throw it out as a mini-mini at some cons.

Nothing major to add, but I enjoyed it very much and I think taking the focus off the letter makes good sense.